Aston unveils radical new design: four wheels & an engine that works

May 15, 2025 - photo Jonathan Borba

The announcement was made at a dramatic press event featuring green smoke, orchestral music, and a confused Fernando Alonso asking, “Wait, is this finally my year?”

“We realized that perhaps including all essential components in the car’s design could be beneficial,” said Aston Martin’s Technical Director. “This season, we’re focusing on radical concepts like secured steering wheels and engines that don’t spontaneously combust.”

The new design also features:

• A dashboard that remains illuminated throughout the race
• Brakes that respond within a reasonable timeframe
• A gearbox that shifts gears upon request

Team Principal Andy Cowell added, “Our goal is to finish races with all components intact. It’s ambitious, but we believe in aiming high.”

As the team prepares for the upcoming Grand Prix, fans eagerly await to see if Aston Martin’s commitment to a fully assembled car will translate into on-track success.